Tuesday, July 1, 2014

A point of frustration.

The hubbs and I are huge fans of the Renaissance Festival here in Michigan.  Not to the point where we dress up or start speaking in foreign-ish tongues, but we enjoy making a date-day out of it once a year.  It's our time to go out, buy a few trinkets that we really don't need in any capacity, listen to dirty jokes from roasted almond vendors, and treat ourselves to lunch at The Laundry in Fenton afterwards. 
One of the things that we really enjoy, though, is seeing the same astrologist each year for a star chart/psychic reading.  Mind you, we don't put any stock into it at all.  It's usually just a weird form of affirmation and some curious things to ponder while we walk through the rest of the festival, trying to find a gentleman selling pickles that won't harass us. 

The readings are typically pretty positive and light-hearted.  Last year, we had her quickly look up the star chart for our daughter before she thoroughly read ours.  She glanced at it and started laughing.  "Well," she said with a cryptic smile, "you guys have a tough one.  Very smart, sensitive, and tough."  Granted, I 100% understand that could apply to almost any child on the planet, but it was perfect for our kid.

We got through the reading with nothing truly ground breaking, and we were about to get up and leave when the woman looked at me and said somberly "Dear, you need to just put your head down and get through this year.  You're going to question many of the decisions you've made this year, but you're on the right track."

....Odd.  And, frankly, not the best business practice, leaving your regular-ish couple hanging on a foreboding note.

Honestly, I haven't really thought about it at all up until this point (now that we're planning our next date-day to the festival).  But, looking back, I have to admit that this year hasn't been "my year" in regards to, well, anything

Standing up for my convictions.  Holding firm to my promises to myself.  Knowing what I want out of any given day.  Really understanding what success means.  Not expecting perfection out of myself.  Prioritizing my life.  Finding ways to stay physically and mentally healthy.

Understanding that the clock only moves forward and never ticks back.

There's no happy wrap-up here, friends.  I'm still struggling, and I don't anticipate this struggle dissipating anytime soon.  The stage that I'm currently at in my life, though, allows me to turn this into a level of exhaustion and frustration that doesn't evolve into self-bashing.  That, believe it or not, is a massive step in the right direction for me

So, in conclusion...I haven't decided if I will go back to that astrologist this year.

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