Muddling & Mishaps - Reality Blogging

I had a great conversation with a friend the other day about all the different ways we procrastinate before diving into housework (ironic, eh?).  I wistfully thought aloud about how amazing it would be to have someone come in and take care of my Arch-Nemesis of Daily Tasks:  the dishes.  "Well," she said, "I've worked for people before who have someone come in and clean once a week...but they clean up beforehand." "...Wait, what?!"  "Yeah!  They would ask me on those days to empty and load the dishwasher and clean off the counters, otherwise she wouldn't fully clean the kitchen." I am still reeling over this tidbit of information.  What the hell is the point of paying someone to clean when you are going to clean so they will have a clean enough area to perform their daily or weekly cleaning?!  I can only imagine the contract.  "I hereby authorize Mary Poppins to come in and sing a song, snap her fingers, and give off the app...

Has it really been that long since I last blogged?!  I mean, truthfully, I seem to remember writing a whole lot more over the past month.  I'd say that it must have been a dream, but I would have to sleep in order to dream about anything.  There hasn't been a whole lot of that over the past month, either.  I lovingly describe my daughter as a crawling-and-cruising petri dish.  I love my child to pieces, but let's be real here - she's kind of disgusting.  The amount of snot and saliva that pours out of her face on a daily basis isn't just gross - it's downright impressive.  It doesn't help that she goes to daycare full-time, where she is surrounded by other crawling-and-cruising-and-dripping-and-oozing petri dishes from the age of three months to the brink of toddlerhood.  Needless to say, my home has had a bubonic cloud surrounding it throughout the past thirty days.  Because those baby germs are freaking potent .  She coughed twic...

I love awkward moments.  I feel that there is nothing more human than foot-in-mouth statements, terrible-timing conversations, and pregnant pauses that make the heat rise up in your cheeks and at the top of your ears.  We've all experienced these moments where we want to just crawl up in a ball and die...or, in my case, giggle uncontrollably.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've come home and said to the husband "Oh man - you should've been there", as if I were talking about a recent promotion or a powerful homily, when really I'm talking about an instance that would make any person question every choice that they made leading up to that moment in time.  But, my avid readers, the unthinkable has happened.  I have finally found an awkward moment that made me flee.  That made me run into my car, slam the door shut, bury my face into my hands, and mutter "Oh God, please don't let this ever, EVER happen again."  My hubby and I ...

This past year was a persistent test on my limits:  The third trimester of pregnancy; childbirth; colicky baby; stay-at-home mama for five months; transition to working mama; hubby at home to help me out; hubby working on base (and away from home) for a week or two at a time - this list could be endless.  I have never known another point in my life where there was so much change in such a short period of time, and there were many moments where I had to quit thinking, pick up the extra coffee, and sprint the last half of the"marathon".  I can't remember a year so complex and overwhelming. I know there's probably a negative connotation to that, but I don't necessarily mean it that way. Was it stressful and taxing?  Absolutely.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that these bags under my eyes are a permanent thing now, and I may or may not have already plucked a gray hair from my scalp.    But everything about this year was inexplicably beautiful.   ...

I've decided to throw out every "What To Expect in Your Baby's First Year" book that I own.  Actually, I may set fire to them.  That may be more fulfilling and satisfying to me.  (Is that a sign of some kind of mental problem?  Meh.  Oh well.) I get that those "First Year" books mean well, and they did provide me with a sense of comfort when I got home with my little squirmy and all I could think was "Oh crap.  Oh crap.  Oh crap.  What am I supposed to do now?!"  But let's be honest - most kids (and my kid in particular) do not fit any sort of mold. To fully illustrate my point, here's my abbreviated, edited, and censored list that I drafted up for you all.  I call this the "Why-Does-This-Have-To-Be-So-Freaking-Difficult-Now-That-I-Have-A-Little-Minion" list: Item A - Meals I could break this down into multiple categories, really.  But for the sake of brevity, I'm just going to umbrella this bad boy.  Prepping meals for...

I believe that a prerequisite for any position in any sector that pays more than $25,000 a year should be previous employment in the service industry during at least one holiday season.  This includes retail, grocery, and food service.  You learn more about the dark side of humanity and how to work in high-stress situations both as an individual and as a team when you have to face the foe of holiday shoppers. Furthermore, every person should be forced to give up their holidays to receive crappy pay and short (if any) breaks.  You - yes you, my avid reader - should know what it's like to sacrifice time with your loved ones on Thanksgiving.  To wake up at 2:30 AM on Black Friday to be yelled at all day by materialistic goons.  To hear customers say over and over again how sorry they are that you have to be working on Christmas day while they order eight specialty coffee drinks and don't leave a dime in your tip cup. Then, and only then , do you have any right ...

I used to be concerned about the level of caffeine that I consumed on a daily basis.  Realistically, I’ve always over-indulged in coffee.  I worked at a coffee shop throughout the course of my undergrad and graduate degrees, and against company policy, my fellow baristas and I would always exchange free drinks when we were off the clock.  I could basically count on a medium or large Americano with nothing but a bit of skim milk and a touch of honey on a daily basis.  Oh…that smoky, syrupy goodness that is fresh espresso straight out of the cleanest of brew-heads.  That beautiful, golden crema that bubbles up to the top when you gently pour the shots into a pristine mug filled with the hottest of filtered water.  That sharp bite of the first sip that quickly turns into the smoothest of smoothes… …Mmmmm…. Ok, back to reality. Needless to say, I developed a bit of an addiction.  Frankly, “addiction” may not even be the right word for it....